Spill It: A Socially Distanced Mimosa Chat with Amy Huang

Spill It is an interview series with outstanding creatives, activists, glamour queens, movers and shakers, outside-the-box thinkers, subject matter experts, and agents of change.

Charlsie: Right now at this very moment...this specific moment in time...this split second...tell me where you are creatively and emotionally? 

Amy: Emotionally, a little frustrated that we can't go out and be social (due to COVID-19, quarantine, and social distancing). When I left my most recent job in March, I was ready to plan trips with friends while I looked for other jobs — I just want to be at the beach, sippin' on drinks with friends while chilling. Now I feel like the window of relaxing and vacationing is completely wasted. 

Creatively, I’m also a little frustrated! The quarantine has put everyone in a weird funk. Should we relax or do we need to be productive? If we aren’t getting XYZ done, does that make us lazy? I have been working on my personal wedding brand for fun, Wild Juniper, here and there during the quarantine but there are a lot of things to consider and it’s a large undertaking under such quarantine regulations. Amazingly enough though, I have a vision for what I want to do —it's just a matter of executing it when the time is right. 

“I have a vision for what I want to do —it’s just a matter of executing it when the time is right. ”

Charlsie: I like how you are one of those people who understand the importance of executing when the time is right. It’s something you know like the back of your hand, you have an innate sense for it. I think this quarantine has caused a lot of questions and funkiness to become present in every day life, which can be difficult to sift through. You and I talk extensively about things that move us like art, music, food, design. What creatively motivates you and moves you and why do those things make an impact on you? 

Amy: It's funny when people ask what motivates me. Because the answer is that no one thing or person motivates me. I often have sporadic moments of "I need to do this right now." I am very impulsive and that is when I am the most productive. If you ask me what my style is, I don't really have a specific style. I just like things. All types of things. However I noticed recently I am very driven and thirsty for things that drive passion in me. When I’m motivated and inspired, you will be able to tell because my passion becomes alive. And the beauty of this is that it doesn’t come from just one thing — it comes from fleeting moments and random collections of things that move my soul.

Charlsie: Your wild-child passion and creative drive excites me because it reminds me a lot of myself. Passion like that can be stifled in certain situations, like corporate America. You've been in the corporate world for a few years now. How does it differ from what you thought it would be like? What do you like the most about it and what do you hate the most? 

Amy: When I was still in school I always had the idea that to succeed I needed to be in a corporate setting. However, I came to realize that isn't where I'd like to be in the long term. I’m limited creatively, my opinions are not always taken seriously, and the people you meet are very surface level. Balance is hard. For example, I am an introvert and the agencies I have been at...everyone seems to be extroverted. People that have really gotten to know me and my strengths have been in settings of 15 people or under. Throw an introvert into a room of extroverts, of course the introvert will fall in the background. Throw an introvert into a room of other introverts, and I become the extrovert. 

The pleasant thing about corporate world is that it gives you a big wake up call of what the industry is really like. The pretty and the ugly. Either you stay in or get out. It’s not for everyone, but the beauty is you can make the choice for yourself.  

Charlsie: You know, I’ve done both the corporate world, nonprofits, and freelance and you’re absolutely right — it’s a gamble of balance and personalities. So, let me just say it...one of the things that has blown me away about you is your radical candor and unexpected honesty at all times. Where does that come from? How do you use that as a tool in your career? 

Amy: Speaking candidly, I have always been someone that is detached from emotions and feeling — I am eternally objective. I at one point got the nick name Apathetic Amy. It's not that I purposely did this because of some traumatic incident, but that is how I was raised. In Asian families, it is rare to have close relationships with your parents and speak about emotions.. For me, I have never communicated with my parents on a deep level. I hardly have deep conversations with my siblings. I think that has led me to sometimes feel uncomfortable in emotional situations. 

I like getting to the point. Short and simple. From growing up with my classmates and the people I have met in the industry, I notice common trends in their personalities that always bothered me — traits that I would consider fake and not authentic. I have always been true to myself and it has never failed me. When people would always say the best way to nail an interview is to be yourself, it's true. I have never lied in an interview and I don’t believe in ‘fake it till you make it.’ I always tell the interviewer this is what i'm good at and this is what I am not. It has never failed me to this day. The truth is powerful. 

With that being said though, I think most —if not all— people have an honest side that they don't like showing because of pride. I have no pride and I am not ashamed to speak the truth, and I think people overwhelmingly love this. Someone who gets to the point and doesn't BS...because at the end of the day, we are all human. 

“I have always been true to myself and it has never failed me.”

Charlsie: Hot damn. I think this is why you and I have connected so well. You are 100% unbridled in who you are and you don’t apologize for your honesty. When I was managing you a few months ago, I remember you called me out on my bullshit one day and not only were you tactful and respectful … you were right. A lot of people wouldn’t have done that. It made me a better person and it made me have the utmost respect for you. Don’t ever lose that sense of yourself.  

Something else I’m really interested in talking to you about is your background. You are a self-described Chinese Southern girl. How do you blend being Chinese with your Southern identity and how has it shaped who you are as a person today? 

Amy: I did not really start embracing being a Southern Chinese gal until attending college in Middle Georgia. My appreciation for my background grew from meeting so many international students (I was heavily involved with the International Education Center). I think it really hit me when I met a student from China, she said she was Chinese and I said I was Chinese, but we were SO different. From our style, attitude, our demeanor. Everything was so different. 

At the time I had not traveled much outside of Georgia (I have terrible motion sickness when I travel — it’s a huge detriment to my life). However in college you meet so many people from everywhere, and I would hear their experiences and loved hearing many people's experiences with the South. It was a proud moment to hear that southern hospitality was real and that you couldn't get that in other parts of the US. It was something to be proud of. I think being a first generation American has also molded me into being really humble. 

Charlsie: Ok, so here’s a question I ask everyone. What would you tell your fifteen year old self about where you are right now in life? 

Amy: When I think of fifteen, I think of Taylor Swift's song “Fifteen.” It was definitely an awkward stage for me. I just remember time going by so fast — I remember every instance in my past where I felt time was so fleeting. I don't think I would tell my fifteen year old self anything, actually. I do not regret anything in my past. I am proud to say through the mistakes and fails, it has led me to here and it was all inevitable. I do not think I have changed much since fifteen year old me because I have always been true to myself. 

Charlsie: I want to talk to you when you’re 50 because I feel like you’re going to have the same answer. I see you as someone who is always evolving but because you’re so true to yourself, you will never have regrets or look back with coulda, shouda, woulda’s. I like that. 

 Amy: Ask me when I’m 50, but I think you’re right about what my response would be.

Charlsie: What is something you haven't done yet that you want to do that you believe will change your life for the better? It can be anything. 

Amy: There are things I want to do and there are things that I should do, but they do not necessarily align. I should allow myself to stop holding grudges. I should allow myself to be more optimistic. I should let go of my imposter syndrome. But I am one of the most stubborn people you will ever meet. Maybe what I want to do is stop being stubborn. But I don't think I have gotten to that conclusion yet to commit. *laughs* 

Charlsie: So, I know you have a passion for the wedding industry. What draws you to it and where does this fascination come from? How can you put your own stamp on such a saturated industry? 

Amy: It's definitely a combination of things. I love all the design and creativity that goes into the wedding industry — it's my entire aesthetic. I love how crazy brides go to execute a vision. I love planning events and being able to see it all come to life the day of. I am a very visual person. and I am a visionary with the things that move me and drive me. With weddings, I love how thorough the event can be. From florals to stationary, I love every aspect of it. What can you say, I am a girl. We love these things. 

To be honest though, I am still trying to figure out how to stand out in an industry like this. When people ask me what career I'd go into if I had to do it for free, it would be this. I even tell my friends I will plan their weddings for free! However, I don't think passion is enough to succeed in this industry. And maybe it is, but I have not come across wedding experts yet that I have been able to sit down and pick their brains on the ins and outs of what makes someone excel in this world. 

Charlsie: If I ever get married, you can plan my wedding. Draft up a contract, you’re hired! Make sure there are peonies and we’re golden. Switching gears though, let’s get a little weird and personal (sorry reader). You nicknamed me Diva a few months back and now I call you Little Diva. What is one thing you learned from me and what is one thing you believe you taught me? 

Amy: Many people perceive being a diva as a bad thing. I find it to be an empowering title. It is for the unapologetic bad ass women that know what they want. From you, I have learned to be proud of your accomplishments and never take an accomplishment lightly...even if it seems minuscule to other people. Never lower your expectations. You have learned to embrace the title DIVA (you HATED this title in the beginning). But it’s about feeling comfortable in your own skin, saying F the haters, putting down your walls, and keeping it real. 

Charlsie: Oh little Diva. You are wise beyond your years. Before we wrap up, could we touch base on something you and I talk about frequently that I think is important from a creative and general humanity standpoint? 

Amy: Yes, Diva.

Charlsie: Nature vs. nurture, we’re always having personal conversations about this and many in reference to the John Mayer song “In The Blood.” Talk to me about your perspective on this and how it impacts your work. Does the apple fall from the tree?  

Amy: I think a lot of people hope to become the opposite of their parents and they try so hard to do this. I don't think we become our parents because purely that is what we are used to. We just happen to have similar traits to them and it's a combination of the situation that manifests who we become. I don't think it is a bad thing to want to become your own person and it’s not bad when you will do anything to break free from the chains. But I think most people confront the issue wrongly. I embrace who my parents are, but I don't think they are perfect. I, too tell myself I will never become my parents but at the end of the day I am the product of my parents...yet I do not have to live in their shadow. 

Charlsie: So much of my personal growth and emotional work that I do is focused on learning from my parents and not becoming them, and I think this work creatively impacts me and my perspective in work and everything from my writing to my personal relationships. Thanks for sharing your perspective on it. Excuse me while I go play the John Mayer song one more time. 

Amy: Go for it.

“I should allow myself to stop holding grudges. I should allow myself to be more optimistic. I should let go of my imposter syndrome. But I am one of the most stubborn people you will ever meet. Maybe what I want to do is stop being stubborn.”

Charlsie: You have a work ethic like no other. Where does it come from and how do you keep that fire alive? 

Amy: Short and simple, without getting too cheesy, my parents raised me to work hard. I have ambitions and things I want years from now. I have worked long and hard to get to where I am now and I am still not even really where I want to be. I just like getting shit done. I think most people do too. 

Charlsie: Thanks for spilling it with me, Amy. Your honesty is so bold and refreshing and I value it immensely. You’re so young in career and I don’t say that to be like “aw you’ve got so far to go” … I say it because your strengths and candidness will carry you so far and I can’t wait to be there on the sidelines cheering you on. 

Check out more about Amy on her website and find her on LinkedIn. Trust me, she’s someone you want to watch!