Spill It: Red Wine But Not Merlot with Sabrina Barnett

Spill It is an interview series with outstanding creatives, activists, glamour queens, movers and shakers, outside-the-box thinkers, subject matter experts, and agents of change.

Charlsie: Are you a good witch or a bad witch? No, seriously — that’s the question. 

Sabrina: This is a question that, obviously, I've put a lot of thought into. I have a tendency to want to make everyone happy and always be kind, even if it's to my own detriment (Libra urges? Sick desire to please thanks to being labeled "gifted" as a kid? Who knows!), so for a lot of years I focused my witchery on wanting to be white and light and heal others and oh, don't worry about me, I'm fine! The last few years, though, I've done a lot of reading about embracing your shadow self and I've come to believe that if we don't acknowledge and work with, instead of against, the darkness within ourselves, we can produce some real toxicity (even as we're attempting to be "nice"). I'm definitely more drawn to traditions like hoodoo and rootwork these days, where both dark and light are at work, vs practices like Wicca that really push you to be a "lightworker" and only put "positive vibes" into the world, or whatever. So, all of that's to say: I'm a medium witch? I'm mostly good, but I ain't afraid to hex when and where needed.

Charlsie: I feel that I’m always reading pieces where women share mistakes they learn from and while I do think there is value in sharing experiences of failure…I don’t see men discussing that in the same way. So, let’s throw out the “tell me about a time you failed and how you grew from it” question and instead, tell me about the last time you were like “Yes, I AM 100% that bitch.” 

“Everyone should take selfies. I'm very pro-selfie. I want to compliment everyone's beautiful selfies.”

Sabrina: The last year or so I've challenged myself to take more selfies, because I've always found existing within a physical body to be a deeply weird and confounding experience. It may seem kind of silly, but that practice has really helped me feel a bit more comfortable with myself and my appearance, and I actually regularly find myself saying "Damn. I look pretty good!" for probably the first time in my life. Everyone should take selfies. I'm very pro-selfie. I want to compliment everyone's beautiful selfies.

Probably the thing I'm most confident about is like my...taste, I guess, for lack of a better term? Like, I will frequently look at a playlist I've made or a themed Pinterest board I've curated or the memes I've collected and be like "Damn. I am truly an incredible woman who likes fantastic things." I'm kind of weirdly proud I've been able to maintain that confidence through my life, because, as a kid growing up in a rural and conservative area, I was definitely viewed as weird for a lot of the stuff I liked, but even back then I was able to think "Uhh, no, I am definitely the cool one, here." Hopefully I do a better job, now, of managing that confidence without being alienating lol. I want to share the stuff that excites me! I want others to be excited by stuff, too!

“I’m a medium witch? I’m mostly good, but I ain’t afraid to hex when and where needed.”

Charlsie: Ok, so I believe one of the first times I met you at Hollins, you were in a maxi dress that was basically a rainbow. You were a walking rainbow in Roanoke, VA on a campus that once upon a time wouldn’t let women wear pants (and of course, they had to wear gloves to the dining hall). The colors were bold and loud and I remember being like “Who is this girl and why is she so awesome?” Talk to me about colors and how they impact you. I feel like color is a big part of what you do today as an artist.

Sabrina: I definitely adore color. Someone once described the stuff I make as "Hieronymus Bosch in Candyland," which I obviously loved. I always have this weird internal tension where I'm drawn to these sort of dark, gothy, Victorian themes and jewel tones, but I am also obsessed with Polly Pockets and kitschy stuff and glitter and pastels. So, I really like to play off of that tension: this concept of "girly" colors or media and, like, skeletons, or whatever.

Charlsie: You’re one of my favorite people to follow on social media because you showcase hard work but also a very real and raw perspective of what it’s like being a woman in business, a creative, a freelancer, and a modern day human being existing in this wild world. How did you get into the social media groove you’re in? What inspired you to go down that rabbit hole? 

 Sabrina: I am definitely NOT an early social media adapter. I'm not one of those zeitgeist-y people who's like "Nah, man, TikTok is OVER, it's all about PongZop, now" and is on whatever network six months before it fully catches on and is able to sort of dominate thanks to that. To be honest, social media really doesn't come naturally to me. I'd be perfectly happy to be a weird hermit who quietly makes stuff that no one sees until I die and it's discovered in my house along with a colony of raccoons. 

So, by the time I started using Instagram it was like five years after everyone else was on there, and I joined from a sense of "Well, I guess I have to do this if I want to be serious about sharing my art." I had to look at it as a job, and I did a bunch of reading about the best Instagram "technique," which by that point there was tons of writing about. I very quickly got to a point where I said to myself "Oh my GOD, I cannot take three-thousand photos of my beautiful flat lays and airy loft and plan content three months ahead of time." So, I just sort of said "screw it," and focused on the opposite side: putting more of my energy on Stories, because of the freedom I felt in them, and just sharing messy, behind-the-scenes process stuff and things that inspired me or made me laugh, and how I was feeling or what I was struggling with. I don't have a very big following, but I've genuinely gotten to know so many really cool, creative people who seem to relate to the fact that I'm not afraid to admit I'm a giant mess and who reach out and say "Hey! Same!” which has been wonderful.

Sabrina’s Instagram offers a variety of Story highlights and beautiful, insightful captions for her grid posts.

Charlsie: Tell me about your creative process. Does your art inspire your writing? Does your writing inspire your art? 

Sabrina: Art and writing are and always have been inextricably intertwined for me. Usually the writing or story comes first, and then I'm making art to go with it. The art I'm working on right now is particularly tied to writing, and will have some short stories and poems to accompany it. I've always related more to illustrators than "fine artists" for that reason. I'm really invested in creating a narrative, a world.

Charlsie: You and I both talk about our love for Salonpas (this is not sponsored, but we clearly are open to it — hello Salonpas marketing team. If you’re not familiar with Salonpas, they are topical pain relief patches) because we are funny, genius ladies...but behind that — we both suffer from chronic illness in our own way. How has chronic illness impacted your creative process? Tell me what you struggle with and what you think you’ve managed to control well. 

Sabrina: Whew. This is a tough one. It can definitely be incredibly frustrating to deal with chronic pain. My issues involve my sad, messed up neck pinching nerves which then causes migraines and vision problems, which, obviously, makes creating difficult. I've really had to try to be more gentle with myself, and adjust my timelines for finishing things, because there are a lot of times when, no matter how much I want to be working on something, if I continue to push myself I just make things worse and wind up putting myself out of commission longer. Which stinks.

The biggest thing I struggle with is definitely the need to rest, sometimes. I've also dealt with anxiety and depression most of my life, so when my issues with pain started getting worse, I was incredibly hard on myself, and the loop that went through my head was "This isn't a real problem. You're just depressed. You're just complaining." And of course that's it's own whole issue, because it's taken me a long time to begin to come to terms with the fact that my mental health is just as "real," just as much a priority, as my physical health. But, at the same time, when I'm in a depressive episode it's really important that I try to recognize it, and seek the appropriate extra help, so I've had to learn that, yes, sometimes I am really, truly just in physical pain. The best way I've found to clarify it to myself is, when I'm depressed, I really want to crawl in a dark closet and do nothing, nothing interests me. When it's "just" pain, I have all kinds of things I WANT to do, but it's just too painful. But giving myself grace to rest is definitely an ongoing process.

On the other hand, I'm pretty proud of myself for doing pretty much doing all that I can on the treatment front. I'm doing the yoga, I'm watching the food, I'm going to the doctor, I'm taking the meds, even though the medication process can be exhausting and disheartening because you're having to try these different things and have them not work or only work for a while or cause side effects you can't handle. But I'm doing it! I'm trying!

Charlsie: I’m so proud of you because trying is literally half the battle with yourself when you’re having a horrible day filled with pain. You are constantly one of the people I see out in the world cranking out work and I know you can’t always feel well, so it inspires me to get writing done for an hour even if I’m hunched over in flank pain because I don’t want to lose any creative magic. So, I ask everyone this — who was 15 year old Sabrina and what would you tell 15 year old Sabrina today? 

Sabrina: Oof, 15 year old Sabrina was pretty damn lonely and sad. I'd tell her to be kinder to herself. I'd tell her there are so many other weirdos in the world, and that she WILL get the opportunity to meet some of them, and it will be great. I'd tell her that some things will stay hard, but many things will get easier, and there is good and beauty worth staying in the world for. I'd tell her that she's over-plucking her eyebrows.

“I think the biggest thing that makes me feel strong, as both a woman and creator, is surrounding myself with and supporting amazing, creative women. And also telling men when their jokes aren’t funny.”

Charlsie: So, recently I’ve been struggling with self compassion (not having it). It’s embarrassing to admit that but it’s the truth. Naturally as women, I think we gravitate towards having radical sympathy and compassion for others. I also think self compassion is different than what everyone calls self-care. What was the last way you showed self compassion and is it a part of your regular self care? 

Sabrina: I also struggle with self-compassion, and it's become something I've really tried to work on over the last few years for that reason. I tend to be a perfectionist, and incredibly hard on myself, so just being able to step back and do some deep breathing and say to myself "Hey, is this how you'd talk to someone else? Then why is it okay to talk to yourself that way?" has been a huge deal. Oddly, a big way I've found that makes it easier to be kind to myself is to make an effort to reach out to people I care about and admire to check in, or send them something I think they'd like, and tell them how much I adore them. Doing that lets me step back and say "Hey, I am a kind person. I deserve to treat myself kindly, too," so reaching out in that way has become sort of a regular, meditative practice for me.

The crown on Sabrina’s head was handmade and I cannot stop obsessing over the detail that went into it.

Charlsie: To me, your art has a very delicate air about it while also presenting as self aware and rooted in strength. What makes you feel strong as a creator and as a woman?

Sabrina: I think the biggest thing that makes me feel strong, as both a woman and creator, is surrounding myself with and supporting amazing, creative women. And also telling men when their jokes aren't funny.

Stop what you’re doing and follow Sabrina on Instagram immediately! You can find her @sabrinaelisebarnett and check out her YouTube videos if you like sparkles and the idea of living life inside of a Polly Pocket.